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My sister is trying to keep me away from my dying mother and may be telling her lies about me. What can I do?
Unfortunately, this is an all too common scenario in many families. Sometimes this happens because one family member wants to get control of assets and wants to keep other family members and close friends away so they won’t be able to detect what’s happening. Sometimes one family member will seek to keep others away because of unhealthy dynamics in the family, such as unresolved sibling rivalries. The controlling sibling will get to be the “favorite” at last.
Whatever the cause of your sister’s behavior, the most important question is whether your mother is receiving the care she needs, both physical and emotional. If your mother is in possession of her faculties and able to make her own decisions, she is free to do that, which includes the freedom to believe your sister and refuse to see you. If your mother has made a health care directive or durable power of attorney for health care, whomever she has chosen has the right to make her medical decision, unless they can be shown to be harming or neglecting her or unless your mother was not competent at the time she signed the document. Your mother might also have given someone a power of attorney to handle her finances. However, a power of attorney is only the power to handle affairs on behalf of your mother, it doesn’t give anyone the right to take her assets or use them for that person’s own benefit.
You have a few options for resolving this situation. If you suspect that your mother is being abused, physically or emotionally, you can call your state’s protective authorities, which can investigate the situation. If you feel that it would be better to have someone else care for your mother or if you think there are financial irregularities going on, you can go to court and ask for a conservatorship (or guardianship in some places) of her person and/or of her estate. A probate attorney in your area can tell you the procedure for doing that in your state. A conservatorship of her person would give you the right to control your mother’s care and day-to-day activities, including who may see her. A conservatorship of her estate would give you the power to handle her assets and make sure none have been taken. This is done under the supervision of the court, usually after you post a surety bond to protect the estate. |
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